The Secrets We Keep
by Latent Radiance
Summary: I've never told anyone this. It was a secret I promised to keep until death, after all. But since the doctors told me I'm going to die in a few weeks from this damn terminal cancer, I might as well share it and release my heart from all of this pain. Post-Canon Puzzleshipping One-shot.


A/N: Oh, lookie. More Puzzleshipping goodness. Post-Canon, angsty. Mentions of Peachshipping.

Disclaimer: I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh, and if I did, I would have made Anzu get crushed by that crate in Episode 75. Eheh…

Enjoy~

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I've never told anyone this. It was a secret I promised to keep until death, after all. But since the doctors told me I'm going to die in a few weeks from this damn terminal cancer, I might as well share it and release my heart from all of this pain.

I only feel immense guilt when I think of my wife, Anzu. I know she loves me to some degree, and I might've loved her once. However, all that changed even before we started dating.

The day my other self crossed into the afterlife was the day my heart shattered into millions of pieces. I knew that I loved him, but with all the events that seemed to happen right after each other, I'd never gotten the chance to say it. I just watched silently as he walked into the light, into heaven, into peace and serenity…

Before that day, however, came the one I made my promise. We knew that he was going to have to leave me. He must've known I'd be heartbroken, devastated. Enough to do anything, even kill myself, to be back with him. Maybe he felt the same.

The day before he left, after we had made our decks, I fell asleep to wake into my soul room. The room inside my mind was dark, cold, and forbidding. It reflected my inner turmoil at what tomorrow's events would bring.

I heard a knock on my door, and I couldn't help but smile. After all this time, he was still hesitant to enter without my permission. I called him in.

It only took him a heartbeat to recognize the negative emotions making my soul room so cold, and he frowned. He approached cautiously while I stared at the ceiling, trying not to let my emotions slip.

He hugged me. The action was so swift, so unexpected, it caused the last of my walls to crumble, along with my resolve. I clutched him for dear life, as if that would make him stay and everything would be back to the way it was before we went on this chase to find his memories. Back the way it was after Duelist Kingdom.

His voice was so soothing, humming comforting words in an attempt to revive the smile I usually wore.

I told him not to leave. I begged him to just stay. I didn't want him to go.

He calmly - or, as calmly as he could, for I could sense he was breaking as well - told me that he had to leave, that this was his only chance. He couldn't burden me with his presence any longer.

Silly Pharaoh. Still believing that he was budding in on the life that should be mine. No, I didn't want it to be my life. I wanted it to be ours.

That was when he realized it, I think. Realized how much I cared for him. He didn't say anything about it, but the way he was embracing me changed. Before, it was comforting. But then, it became almost desperate. Filled with longing, desire, and care. It was then I knew he loved me back, though he never said so.

Then worry came to play. He didn't want me to be heartbroken. He wanted me to live. He roughly took my arms and stared into my eyes. Oh, how I loved those eyes.

He knew I was to win tomorrow. A part of me knew as well, but refused to believe. He told me, begged me, to live. To live for my friends. To live for my grandfather.

To live for him.

After he had left, he wanted me to find love. To marry. To have kids. He didn't want me mourning over him like a kid when their puppy dies.

He told me to live.

I promised I would.

So after he stepped through that gate and after the doors closed and after the tomb collapsed, I reminded myself of that promise.

I'll live. Live for him.

A month later, I asked Anzu out. I knew she held feelings for him as well, so I knew she was feeling the same. I figured we could help each other.

We graduated. Settled down. I took over the Kame Game Shop after Jii-chan died from natural causes. Jounouchi and Honda kept playing Duel Monsters and helped out with the shop, earning free booster packs as pay.

Three years passed, and I awoke from a nightmare. I was reminded yet again of my promise, and I started to plan marriage. A month later, Anzu and I were engaged. We married at the start of the new year.

She wanted kids. Little ones that would bug her to insanity. I laid true to my promise.

We only had one. A boy who looked a whole damn lot like him. We said the name instantly, and agreed almost immediately.

Little Atemu is in high school now, and I'm surprised by how like _him_ he is is becoming. A rebel, he is. I feel bad I won't be able to see him graduate, or get married, or have kids.

Anzu is still my wife, though we've grown apart. We don't love each other, not in the way I loved him. No, still love, for I've never stopped. I think she knows this, but we never talk about it. It'd probably break Atemu's heart...Both Atemu's

Last week I went to see a doctor. I haven't been feeling so good. They diagnosed me with cancer, and Anzu cried.

I didn't, however. It was weird, how I felt a small smile grace my lips once the words "terminal" and "cancer" and "Yuugi" were used in the same sentence. I hid it well while comforting Anzu's sobbing form.

I know, I know. I shouldn't be happy. I should be like Anzu and little Atemu, pouring their eyes out for my weakening condition.

But the truth is, I can't find the will to be sad. No, not when my dream of finally reuniting with _him_ is so close. Telling him how I lived, how I fulfilled my promise to him.

I admit, I will be sad to leave. Despite the fact that I do not love Anzu the way we're supposed to love each other, I still consider her a close friend. And when I think of leaving little Atemu before I can even glance at him living his real life away from school, I start to feel tears coming to the surface. I know they'll be devastated. But I made them promise.

I called them in yesterday. I held both their hands, while telling them that I will in fact die. That no matter how much medical science they put me through, I'll still leave them in a few weeks. One can't ignore their instincts, and mine are telling me it's time.

My final wish was for them to live. I recited the same speech he gave to me all those years ago, the words flowing perfectly, as I had yet to forgotten his voice. Little Atemu had burst into tears, crashing into me as his arms tightened their hold. I eventually made him promise, Anzu soon complying afterwards.

Now that I think about it, that meeting was almost an exact replica of me and him that cold night in my soul room. Except the roles had switched, and I was the one leaving.

But soon, I'll be gone. I'll be in his arms once again, and I'll never leave. He'll never leave. I just hope Anzu can forgive me if she ever reads this. I feel like I've used her, and the guilt is slowly eating me alive.

She will forgive, though. She always does. Isn't that what friends are for?

I'm waiting now. Tucked under a thick layer of blankets with little Atemu sleeping by my side. No matter how many times he stubbornly denies that he isn't a child anymore, he still holds me like one. Not that I'm complaining…

In a few weeks, I'll die. I've accepted it. I've embraced it. I hope my family and friends do as well sometime in the future.

I'll miss you, Anzu, little Atemu, Jounouchi, Honda…

But we'll meet again. Just like I'll do with him.

Isn't that right, Mou Hitori no Boku?

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Ugh, I had so much trouble trying to find an ending to this. It took way longer than necessary, and now I'm tired ~

Hope you liked this little one-shot. Was the ending as bad as I thought it was…?

Well, have a nice day and leave me a comment on your way out~


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